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Written for [livejournal.com profile] vm_spork and actually meant for the comments there but it was too long.

Yes, I am insane. I rewrote this fic and worked [livejournal.com profile] kantayra's comments in to it.

Title: Stuttering fashion love. Or the story of abstinence.
Author: Chosenfiire28. Rewritten by [livejournal.com profile] apestaartje with help of the comments by [livejournal.com profile] kantayra
Character/Pairing: Verronica/Logaan, Verronica/Lamb, Time/Moment, Backup.
Summary: A story of fashion, being blown away and abstinence. Also Backup hopes to get a doggie biscuit.
Extra added note: Slight character death. Oops. Oh, and naked Logaan.


This is the story of Logaan and Verronica. They might remind you of Logan and Veronica but be sure to know that these are not the same people. Logaan and Verronica are from different world entirely; worlds were stuttering is terribly common.

Logaan Echolls had just come of the catwalk of a fashionshow before hopping in to his car and driving to Verronica. Of course he had to boast about his really cool clothes before doing anything else.

He thought about how he had walked on to the catwalk what seemed like only minutes ago (it was actually hours) and he heard the beaming voice in his head again:

"Here is Logaan, with two a's, wearing a gorgeous pair of dark blue designer jeans by none other than Levi. He is also wearing a plain dark green t-shirt. This is latest by Calvin Klein. See how it sets off those penetrating eyes. His brown jacket is of course a Versace orginal and chosen by Logaan especially for this wonderful night."

Logaan blinked and was brought back to reality. He knocked nervously on the door and shifted from left to right and back to left again.

"What if Verronica doesn't like my wonderful sense of fashion?", he thought. He didn't have much time to think as Verronica opened the door.

She also was thinking about her fashion show; the one she'd had merely minutes ago in her own room. She had imagined Backup annoucing her walking on to the catwalk which did give some problems as Backup could only bark and growl.

"grrrowl, woof, here is Verronica, wooof wooof, wearing an old, worn, black and red pair of boxer shorts. Woof, grrrowl, I'm getting a doggie biscuit in a minute. Woof. She is also wearing a white Playboy bunny top. Woof. I don't want to play with stupid bunnies. Woof. Gggrowl. I'll chase them, though."

They were both still deep in thought of their fashion shows, something which revealed Verronica to look quite drowsy. They both, still thinking about better times, appeared to be drowsy.

It was then that Logaan noticed the chargeed taser, slightly more dangerous than a regular charged one. it was being held by Verronica's right hand awaiting action.

Logaan hoooped beyond anything he'd ever hoped before, which was why it had three o's and not just one like usual that he wouldn't start stuttering again. He was afraid of getting taseed. Which was worse than the regular tased.

Logaan knew when the last time that exact same taser had been used. It had been used to force a confession out of a dog napper. Said dog had been returned to his owner's very capable care. You might think that Logaan shouldn't know this as he wasn't there but the wonderful Verronica had used it as a pick up line. That had gone something like this:

"Verronica: "Oh yeah, baby, last week Mandy used my taser on a dognapper."
Logaan: "Take me now, you gorgeous she-hunk!"

Some people might be confused about this but this story happened after Russkie Business. You shouldn't be confused anymore when you remember that this is the story of Logaan and Verronica and not Logan and Veronica.

The following that happened was such a unique moment. It had never before been seen in the whole of fanfictiondom. It was brilliant.

"Logaan", Verronica asked, suprised. "What are you doing here at one o'clock in the morning?" One o'clock in the morning was of course shockingly late for a girl like Verronica who, usually, liked to be in bed by 8.

Backup was still waiting for his doggie biscuit and was wagging his tail furiously. However Logaan and Verronica both thought it was to greet Logaan and poor Backup was ignored.

It looked like Logaan was about to start crying so Verronica quickly spoke: "It's okay. I needed to wake up anyway. Sleeping in a chhair is not the most restful."
Verronica was quiet after that as she realised sleeping in a chhair had made her stutter. She hoped Logaan wouldn't notice. He didn't so she continued with what she was saying.

"...and my dad is in Mexico tracking down a pair of runaways. Won't be back for a week or two."

Logaan and Verronica both knew this was a brilliant and unique plot device. They almost fell down as they watched Backup being blown away by this.

"OH", Logaan mused with all caps but still softly as his eyes raked her body quickly. In the world of Logaan and Verronica Logan's eyes actually had pointy ends that could rake away the leaves on Verronica's body. Something that Verronica had been very grateful for as those leaves had been getting on her nerves.

"I just...wanted...how are you doing", he finished while showing his confusion by pulling a line in the air that went from top right to bottom left. It was a creative use of a puntucation mark invented by Logaan. It beautifully showed his confusion, everybody thought.

Logaan spent a moment stuudying her intensely as that moment hung suspended in time. This was a common occurence in this world. Moments would stand still and someone would have to give it pull to get a started again. Luckily Logaan knew how to do that. Or maybe he didn't as suddenly that very same moment, that just seconds ago had been suspended in time, did a triple backflip. Thankfully, just as a circus audience appeared out of nowhere, Time caught Moment and they swinged nimbly on their trapeze. Swinged...

It was then that Logaan moved forward and pulled her into his arms. He bendind, oh so much better than the regular bended, down and devoured her mouth fiiercly. He was searing with hunger as he hadn't eaten since before that fashion show. Poor thing didn't realise that Verronica had also not eaten in a quite a while.

After that they were both a bit confused by this development as these actions were quite out of character. Verronica didn't worry too much about it as she instinctevly wrapped her arms around his neck and returned the kiss just as passionately.
For some odd reason Verronica thought about instictively singing "Mary had a little lamb" while doing the Funky Chicken. This made her think of Sheriff Lamb.

Logaan pushed her into the house and closed the door behind him. It grappiled in the lock. A wonder that only happend in the world of Logaan and Verronica. The bar slid into place andd, yes with two d's, his lips moved down her neck, without the rest of his face, and whispered.

His lips were fed up with the stuuttering which was why they were trying to get away.

"Oh", Verronica nodded dizzily (poor thing hadn't eaten in a while). "okay", her voice ragged. Yes, ragged.

Poor Logan thought that had been for him but Verronica was still thinking about Sheriff Lamb and lambs in general.

Logaan's lips left Verronica's neck and returned to hers. Verronica willingly parted her own and welcomed his deep invasion of her mouth. She had nothing better to do. Both her hands moved over his soullders, the area just underneath the more known shoulders, and slipped off his sweater. At the same time his hands skimmed beneath the hem of her shirt and onto her bare skin.

It was then that Logaan suddenly remembered that his sweater had been made by Ralph Lauren and not Versace as he had previously thought.

"We can't do this", Verronica moaned softly and regretfull broke the kiss pulling away from the seductive warmth of his body. She was still thinking about Lamb, afterall.

She was a little confused by this as she kept stripping of his clothes as she said it, leaving Logaan naked. He didn't seem to mind as this was very believable.

Logaan understood. He was disoriented from the kiss and his heart beat furiously. His breathing was erratic, not erotic.
"I'll go", he muttered and grabbed his sweater. Luckily it was quite hot as that was all he grabbed. He was naked, remember.

They both knew they couldn't carry on as sex was yucky! Verronica had shown an ankle which, in these Victorian times, was taboo. That was why Backup, having fallen back down again, suddenly made sounds that sounded a lot like M, for mature or maybe manure one couldn't be sure and abstinence, the lesson of the day.

Suddenly Logaan looked into Verronica's eyes, suprised by the poignant question in them. Verronica held his hand with hers and glored, she wasn't entirely sure what that was, in the contact and decided softly,

"Stay with me... (dramatic music) tonight."

Both were shocked in their sudden character change. This world was a tigtly plotted one, afterall. It was nice to see a razor sharp twist even if it did hurt a bit in Logaan's side.
Verronica smiled and bent down to turn of the lamp shadows filling the room. The shadows might've been gone but the light was still on. It didn't seem to bother them.

Maybe it did bother Logaan as he clasped his hand firmly in to hers. She then llllllead him into her room closing the door softly behind them. The five l's indicated the leading had gone very fast, much like lllllightning.

Logaan looked down at her golden head blown away by the trust in him.

It took him a few seconds of blinking and then rememberd that it wasn't his rake-like eyes, that had just minutes ago raked away the leaves on Verronica's leafy body, but the trust in him that had caused Verronica's golden head to be blown away. Or maybe it was the gun that Logaan suddenly had in his hands. Afterall it was common sense to blow a girl's head of before settling down for the evening, even if splattered brains don't make a fine pillow.

Logaan sighed and sniffed after beheading Verronica.

"Goodnight, Ronnie" he said.
Verronica, even though she couldn't speak, little hard without a head, she could still shake her fist and think.

"It's Verronica!" she thought.

"Woof", said Backup still waiting for his doggie biscuit.

The link where the entry at [livejournal.com profile] vm_spork can be found is here.
The orginal work of art can be found here at ff.net.
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